Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Five US Presidents As Corrupt And Scandalous As Donald Trump

Donald J. Trump. The world's richest 2nd grade bully is currently the President-elect of these United *cough* States of America. I could go on a diatribe about his lack of character, his comments about every ethnic group represented by the Olympics, or his well-documented financial controversies. That shit is boring yo. 

All signs point to Trump's Presidency to becoming the most corrupt administrations of our lifetime. We literally elected a man who only wanted to be President last year. A President who "pretended" to run for President three times already. Despite his shortcomings, hair and temperament, he's "possibly" not the most corrupt person to hold the Presidency. 

There's skepticism in anyone who raises hundreds of millions of dollars to hold a job that pays 400K a year. Tons of legitimate and illegitimate deals and agreements have to be made in order for anyone to propel themselves to the Presidency. You have to hire friends, and enemies in order to maintain an unhealthy balance of law and order in politics. 

U.S history has a laundry list of Presidential failures. Our country is still faced with ramifications based on the mistakes past Presidents made. Corruption and politicians go together like a Kardashian and a black celebrity. We've had Presidents resign in disgrace, Presidents impeached, and multiple Presidents assassinated. This job sucks and no one should want to be blamed for every little thing for 4 calendar years. 

Trump may be a walking 4th grade sociopath, but let's examine the five most corrupt U.S Presidents in comparison...

Andrew Johnson - the man who took over arguably the most important U.S. President in American History. Andrew Johnson was essentially picked by Lincoln to win support in the Southern states before the Civil War launched. Johnson was a former slave-owner who still held views of black inferiority. His best friend was John C. Calhoun, the worst human being in U.S. history. His racist views were so harsh that Congress had to override his veto, and pass the 14th Amendment just to protect blacks' citizenship rights. Doesn't necessarily make him corrupt, but he did stand trial for impeachment for trying to remove his Secretary of War. He is considered the worst U.S. President in history by many historians. 

Warren G. Harding - If you're a fan of the HBO series Boardwalk Empire, you saw first-hand how corrupt Warren G. Harding's Presidential election was per the "Ohio Gang" series. His public and political life was marred with scandals. He had a baby out of wedlock while he was in office. He literally appointed bootleggers and criminals to prominent positions. After his sudden death in 1923, his wife burned all his papers in hopes of preserving his legacy. The Teapot Dome scandal secured his place as among the worst Presidents in U.S. History.


Ulysses S. Grant - War hero? Check. Civil Rights champion? Check. Gambler? Check. Alcoholic? Check. Grant had the classic pedigree of war hero becoming President. He inherited a country trying to recover from civil war, and by most historians, did a great job considering the circumstances. Corrupt? Oddly enough, he has more Presidential scandals under his belt than any other President in U.S History!! (There's literally an entire wikipedia page on this)  Like Harding, Grant appointed some shady mofos, and his cabinet was marred by bribes, tax evasion, and embezzlement. Mark Twain called his era the "Gilded Age", marking his era of wealth and growth in the U.S. marred by scandals. Grant left office broke and in serious debt. 

Ronald Reagan - ohhhh noooo!! Not the precious right-wing conservative hero!!! Not the man that tripled the national debt. Not the man who's daughter wrote a tell-all book about his scandalous ways!! Oh noooooo. 

Yes. THAT Ronald Reagan. The presidency of Ronald Reagan in the United States was marked by multiple scandals, resulting in the investigation, indictment, or conviction of over 138 administration officials, the largest number for any U.S. president!! And y'all are worried about Trump. Not to mention the whole Iran-Contra affair that we are STILL paying the ramifications of to this day. The FX series "Archer" actually had a hilarious 3-series episode based on this affair, except the country is San Marcos instead of Nicaragua. 

Lauryn Hill - you know I wanna do it. But I won't 

Richard Nixon - Mr. Watergate himself. We don't need to go too much into detail. Nixon is literally the face of the corrupt politicians. His nickname is literally Tricky Dick. His Presidency is heralded by historians as the most corrupt administration in U.S. History. 

With Mr. Trump headed toward impeachment the Presidency, he has a low bar to get over if he wants to be a successful President. His rumored hirings aren't very encouraging, and considering his lack of preparation as a politician, our skepticism as a country is well-earned. 

Honorable mention goes to George W. Bush. He's lucky he's now a lovable loser now. Or else, he would be #1 on this list. 

Dictated not read 


Thursday, August 11, 2016

Top Ten Most Misbehaved White House Kids of All-Time

Let's face it.

You've probably never met a well-behaved kid named Connor, Hunter, or Ethan. Hell, naming your kid after yourself (Jr.) raises a child's Madden delinquency rating by 50.

Let's face it. Parenting is a difficult and thankless job. It's like doing extra-credit at Devry. It's a job that saps whatever mental fortitude you have left from being yelled at for 10 hours. You help with homework. You do chores and yell orders at your kids in hopes they turn out better than Joseline Hernandez. You sacrifice. Pay bills. All in efforts to provide a path of success and prosperity for your children. 

Enter the President of the United States (POTUS). The toughest 250K job in the world. The only job where you have to raise millions of dollars and endure a 2-4 year public job interview. The job where your words can send millions of people hope, despair, or Taco Bell coupons. You work 16 hours a day and get your day off criticized by the media because LORD KNOWS taking a break from leading the free world will inspire the terrorists. To compound that, the POTUS has a family to attend to just like Jon and Kate plus 8.  

The trend we see with most successful people in this country, chasing success can often lead to neglecting family obligations and duties. Thus, leaving their children in an often rebellious and resentful state of mind. 

Recently, Malia Obama was caught on camera smoking marijuana, which is like a 6 on the conservative "NOT IN MY HOUSE" douchebag terror alert. I don't have time for a weed debate, but if the media is about to make this Malia Obama non-issue an issue, let's examine legendary White House problem children and see if Malia holds a candle to them in the misbehaving playing field....

10. Lucy Johnson - Daughter of Lyndon B Johnson. Currently a very successful business woman and public servant, Lucy Johnson had a sleepover with a friend and wanted to light up the fireplace. Problem is, neither of them knew how, and in moments nearly burned down the Executive Mansion near the White House. Nobody was hurt or injured.

9. Robert Lincoln - Oldest son of Honest Abe, Robert followed in the footsteps of failing upward like Lane Kiffin. Besides having an mentally ill mother, losing 3 brothers to death before 18, and publicly acknowledging the lack of a father figure in the household, he was doomed to fail, even as the President's son.  Bob and his brothers regularly trashed the White House, and drove the White House staff crazy. Robert had flunked out of school numerous times as a kid. He tried to get into Harvard and failed 13 out of 16 subjects on the test. Not exactly misbehaving royalty, as he became a very successful politician and astronomer considering the circumstances. 

8. The Garfield Boys - POTUS James Garfield had 7 kids. Garfield was a President who enjoyed the White House and with his own kids, played numerous pranks and practical jokes on the entire White House staff. It got to a point where one journalist from the Seattle Star called his kids "holy terrors". The Washington Post in 2012 called his kids the "the worst". 

7. George Washington Adams - Oldest son of John Quincy Adams. Like his father and his astronomical high expectations for John Quincy, Johnny Q had the same expectations for George. Unfortunately he suffered with depression and alcoholism, not to mention womanizing. He was described as a very troubled paranoid youth.  He committed suicide in 1829, while his Pops was in office by jumping off a bridge into the Benjamin Franklin river. Whet? 


6.- Amy and Jack Carter were millennials at a time where disco and party culture became a mainstream phenomenon. Jack Carter regularly hung out with Willie Nelson, flunked out of 3 colleges, and was honorably discharged from the Navy for smoking weed. Amy Carter's best friend was Abbie Hoffman, of the Chicago Eight. The FBI has a 13.000 page file on Hoffman alone. Imagine being President, and seeing your daughter participating in sit-ins, protests, and openly being a hippie with a alleged anarchist.  

5. - Son of John Adams, Charles Adams is basically the Freddo of his family. The HBO show "Adams" depicted him as drunken coward compared to his older, more successful brother John Quincy. He struggled with alcohol and was a public drunk. Sadly he died at the age of 30 of alcoholism, while his father was in office. 

4. - Daughter of Teddy Roosevelt, and the most interesting and fascinating person on this list. There aren't enough words to describe the awesomeness of Alice Roosevelt, so I'll do it in bullet-points. 

- wore "pants" in public
- drag racing her car down DC streets
- gambled on horse-racing with her Dad's money
- "ran amuck with gentlemen weekly"
- kept a pet snake that she would use to...get her way with people
- smoked cigarettes in public 
- blackmailed her step-mother to get out of going to boarding school
- partied harder than the Rolling Stones

Please read about Alice Roosevelt. 

3. Bush Girls - Their partying ways and underage drinking escapades have been known publicly for a long time. Just imagine if they had IG/Facebook back when they were tearing up the city. Put it this way: their nickname from the New York Post was "Jenna Tonic'....adsfijalfjasdfa

2. Patti Reagan - Patti disagreed with her father's politics vehemently. How far did she go? She wrote two books revealing all the dirty laundry about her family while he was in office. She struggled with coke addiction, openly admitted to have sex in the Oval Office, and an early supporter of LGBT rights in the 80s. To "top" if off, she posed for Playboy in 1994. She later changed her last name to distance herself from the Reagan name. 

1, George W Bush - You forget that his Dad was President, so technically he's on this list. He wins this list by default. It's clear as day his childhood upbringing was a precursor to becoming arguably one of the worst Presidents of the last 50 years. I would further divulge, but hell, I ain't getting paid for this. 

Lay off Malia Obama. She is exceeding expectations if we're being honest

SOURCES - http://www.rantpolitical.com/2015/07/07/10-white-house-kids-who-misbehaved/
And a little bit of Wikipedia. Hey, it's a blog, not a college essay

Dictated not read.