Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Five US Presidents As Corrupt And Scandalous As Donald Trump


Donald J. Trump. The world's richest 2nd grade bully is currently the President-elect of these United *cough* States of America. I could go on a diatribe about his lack of character, his comments about every ethnic group represented by the Olympics, or his well-documented financial controversies. That shit is boring yo. 

All signs point to Trump's Presidency to becoming the most corrupt administrations of our lifetime. We literally elected a man who only wanted to be President last year. A President who "pretended" to run for President three times already. Despite his shortcomings, hair and temperament, he's "possibly" not the most corrupt person to hold the Presidency. 


There's skepticism in anyone who raises hundreds of millions of dollars to hold a job that pays 400K a year. Tons of legitimate and illegitimate deals and agreements have to be made in order for anyone to propel themselves to the Presidency. You have to hire friends, and enemies in order to maintain an unhealthy balance of law and order in politics. 

U.S history has a laundry list of Presidential failures. Our country is still faced with ramifications based on the mistakes past Presidents made. Corruption and politicians go together like a Kardashian and a black celebrity. We've had Presidents resign in disgrace, Presidents impeached, and multiple Presidents assassinated. This job sucks and no one should want to be blamed for every little thing for 4 calendar years. 

Trump may be a walking 4th grade sociopath, but let's examine the five most corrupt U.S Presidents in comparison...



Andrew Johnson - the man who took over arguably the most important U.S. President in American History. Andrew Johnson was essentially picked by Lincoln to win support in the Southern states before the Civil War launched. Johnson was a former slave-owner who still held views of black inferiority. His best friend was John C. Calhoun, the worst human being in U.S. history. His racist views were so harsh that Congress had to override his veto, and pass the 14th Amendment just to protect blacks' citizenship rights. Doesn't necessarily make him corrupt, but he did stand trial for impeachment for trying to remove his Secretary of War. He is considered the worst U.S. President in history by many historians. 


Warren G. Harding - If you're a fan of the HBO series Boardwalk Empire, you saw first-hand how corrupt Warren G. Harding's Presidential election was per the "Ohio Gang" series. His public and political life was marred with scandals. He had a baby out of wedlock while he was in office. He literally appointed bootleggers and criminals to prominent positions. After his sudden death in 1923, his wife burned all his papers in hopes of preserving his legacy. The Teapot Dome scandal secured his place as among the worst Presidents in U.S. History.

 

Ulysses S. Grant - War hero? Check. Civil Rights champion? Check. Gambler? Check. Alcoholic? Check. Grant had the classic pedigree of war hero becoming President. He inherited a country trying to recover from civil war, and by most historians, did a great job considering the circumstances. Corrupt? Oddly enough, he has more Presidential scandals under his belt than any other President in U.S History!! (There's literally an entire wikipedia page on this)  Like Harding, Grant appointed some shady mofos, and his cabinet was marred by bribes, tax evasion, and embezzlement. Mark Twain called his era the "Gilded Age", marking his era of wealth and growth in the U.S. marred by scandals. Grant left office broke and in serious debt. 


Ronald Reagan - ohhhh noooo!! Not the precious right-wing conservative hero!!! Not the man that tripled the national debt. Not the man who's daughter wrote a tell-all book about his scandalous ways!! Oh noooooo. 

Yes. THAT Ronald Reagan. The presidency of Ronald Reagan in the United States was marked by multiple scandals, resulting in the investigation, indictment, or conviction of over 138 administration officials, the largest number for any U.S. president!! And y'all are worried about Trump. Not to mention the whole Iran-Contra affair that we are STILL paying the ramifications of to this day. The FX series "Archer" actually had a hilarious 3-series episode based on this affair, except the country is San Marcos instead of Nicaragua. 


Lauryn Hill - you know I wanna do it. But I won't 


Richard Nixon - Mr. Watergate himself. We don't need to go too much into detail. Nixon is literally the face of the corrupt politicians. His nickname is literally Tricky Dick. His Presidency is heralded by historians as the most corrupt administration in U.S. History. 

With Mr. Trump headed toward impeachment the Presidency, he has a low bar to get over if he wants to be a successful President. His rumored hirings aren't very encouraging, and considering his lack of preparation as a politician, our skepticism as a country is well-earned. 

Honorable mention goes to George W. Bush. He's lucky he's now a lovable loser now. Or else, he would be #1 on this list. 


Dictated not read 

Lee 

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Top Ten Most Misbehaved White House Kids of All-Time

Let's face it.

You've probably never met a well-behaved kid named Connor, Hunter, or Ethan. Hell, naming your kid after yourself (Jr.) raises a child's Madden delinquency rating by 50.


Let's face it. Parenting is a difficult and thankless job. It's like doing extra-credit at Devry. It's a job that saps whatever mental fortitude you have left from being yelled at for 10 hours. You help with homework. You do chores and yell orders at your kids in hopes they turn out better than Joseline Hernandez. You sacrifice. Pay bills. All in efforts to provide a path of success and prosperity for your children. 

Enter the President of the United States (POTUS). The toughest 250K job in the world. The only job where you have to raise millions of dollars and endure a 2-4 year public job interview. The job where your words can send millions of people hope, despair, or Taco Bell coupons. You work 16 hours a day and get your day off criticized by the media because LORD KNOWS taking a break from leading the free world will inspire the terrorists. To compound that, the POTUS has a family to attend to just like Jon and Kate plus 8.  


The trend we see with most successful people in this country, chasing success can often lead to neglecting family obligations and duties. Thus, leaving their children in an often rebellious and resentful state of mind. 

Recently, Malia Obama was caught on camera smoking marijuana, which is like a 6 on the conservative "NOT IN MY HOUSE" douchebag terror alert. I don't have time for a weed debate, but if the media is about to make this Malia Obama non-issue an issue, let's examine legendary White House problem children and see if Malia holds a candle to them in the misbehaving playing field....


10. Lucy Johnson - Daughter of Lyndon B Johnson. Currently a very successful business woman and public servant, Lucy Johnson had a sleepover with a friend and wanted to light up the fireplace. Problem is, neither of them knew how, and in moments nearly burned down the Executive Mansion near the White House. Nobody was hurt or injured.


9. Robert Lincoln - Oldest son of Honest Abe, Robert followed in the footsteps of failing upward like Lane Kiffin. Besides having an mentally ill mother, losing 3 brothers to death before 18, and publicly acknowledging the lack of a father figure in the household, he was doomed to fail, even as the President's son.  Bob and his brothers regularly trashed the White House, and drove the White House staff crazy. Robert had flunked out of school numerous times as a kid. He tried to get into Harvard and failed 13 out of 16 subjects on the test. Not exactly misbehaving royalty, as he became a very successful politician and astronomer considering the circumstances. 


8. The Garfield Boys - POTUS James Garfield had 7 kids. Garfield was a President who enjoyed the White House and with his own kids, played numerous pranks and practical jokes on the entire White House staff. It got to a point where one journalist from the Seattle Star called his kids "holy terrors". The Washington Post in 2012 called his kids the "the worst". 


7. George Washington Adams - Oldest son of John Quincy Adams. Like his father and his astronomical high expectations for John Quincy, Johnny Q had the same expectations for George. Unfortunately he suffered with depression and alcoholism, not to mention womanizing. He was described as a very troubled paranoid youth.  He committed suicide in 1829, while his Pops was in office by jumping off a bridge into the Benjamin Franklin river. Whet? 

 

6.- Amy and Jack Carter were millennials at a time where disco and party culture became a mainstream phenomenon. Jack Carter regularly hung out with Willie Nelson, flunked out of 3 colleges, and was honorably discharged from the Navy for smoking weed. Amy Carter's best friend was Abbie Hoffman, of the Chicago Eight. The FBI has a 13.000 page file on Hoffman alone. Imagine being President, and seeing your daughter participating in sit-ins, protests, and openly being a hippie with a alleged anarchist.  





5. - Son of John Adams, Charles Adams is basically the Freddo of his family. The HBO show "Adams" depicted him as drunken coward compared to his older, more successful brother John Quincy. He struggled with alcohol and was a public drunk. Sadly he died at the age of 30 of alcoholism, while his father was in office. 



4. - Daughter of Teddy Roosevelt, and the most interesting and fascinating person on this list. There aren't enough words to describe the awesomeness of Alice Roosevelt, so I'll do it in bullet-points. 

- wore "pants" in public
- drag racing her car down DC streets
- gambled on horse-racing with her Dad's money
- "ran amuck with gentlemen weekly"
- kept a pet snake that she would use to...get her way with people
- smoked cigarettes in public 
- blackmailed her step-mother to get out of going to boarding school
- partied harder than the Rolling Stones

Please read about Alice Roosevelt. 


3. Bush Girls - Their partying ways and underage drinking escapades have been known publicly for a long time. Just imagine if they had IG/Facebook back when they were tearing up the city. Put it this way: their nickname from the New York Post was "Jenna Tonic'....adsfijalfjasdfa


2. Patti Reagan - Patti disagreed with her father's politics vehemently. How far did she go? She wrote two books revealing all the dirty laundry about her family while he was in office. She struggled with coke addiction, openly admitted to have sex in the Oval Office, and an early supporter of LGBT rights in the 80s. To "top" if off, she posed for Playboy in 1994. She later changed her last name to distance herself from the Reagan name. 


1, George W Bush - You forget that his Dad was President, so technically he's on this list. He wins this list by default. It's clear as day his childhood upbringing was a precursor to becoming arguably one of the worst Presidents of the last 50 years. I would further divulge, but hell, I ain't getting paid for this. 

Lay off Malia Obama. She is exceeding expectations if we're being honest

SOURCES - http://www.rantpolitical.com/2015/07/07/10-white-house-kids-who-misbehaved/
http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2013/12/sunny-obama-knocks-down-girl-video
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/25/nyregion/when-a-politicians-child-goes-astray.html?_r=0
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2014/12/01/the-long-and-fraught-history-of-judging-the-presidents-kids/
And a little bit of Wikipedia. Hey, it's a blog, not a college essay

Dictated not read. 



Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Why There Is Not A White History Month?




Let's be real. The notion of why we do not have a white history month is incredibly silly and atrocious from a moral standpoint. Often times when asked why we don't have White History Month, it normally comes from a place of ignorance. The most common way I've seen minorities dispel this notion is to argue is that white people have the other 11 months of the year (and own the universe)

But I had to ask myself....

Do they really have the other 11 months to celebrate their heritage? 

The straw-man argument is that white people "own everything" and "built the country on the minorities back" and "Robin Thicke is the greatest soul singer of all-time". But those arguments are lazy and require a lot of historical context I do not care to get involved in right now. 

But really, why isn't there a White History Month? TELL ME IYLANA. 



It's all quite simple. There simply not enough room on the calendar to celebrate it.  

.............................................................

.........................................

Shut up Lee. Stop trolling. You are an idiot are probably what you are thinking right now. It's OK. 

But seriously, let's take a look at the months and see where we can fit White History Month... 

January? - nope, can't have it there. MLK Day, New Years Eve. Would be disingenuous to do so. 

February? - ummmmm -___-

March? - Nope. March is Women's History Month. And they weren't even acknowledge as citizens until the 1920s in this great country. The Irish do have St. Patrick's Day, but Irish were counted as blacks until the early 1900s. True story. Can't do it. 

April? - Nope. National Autism Month. And you gotta be a real tool to trump that by having your own month. BUTTTTT, its also Confederate History Month!!! DING DING DING. RITE POW. 



Well, the heritage of the Confederate only speaks to a particular region in the states, and simply doesn't represent the entire view of diaspora white America. They aren't doing Civil War re-enactments in New York and Oregon. It was worth a shot April.  

May? - Mother's Day and Memorial Day. Busy month as is. Too risky to celebrate any race on this month. Or to take any attention away from Mothers. 

June? - Maybe 10-15 years ago. But June is National LGBT Month. Can't do it anymore. 

July? - Technically, you can. July 4th is Independence Day and celebrates all of the accomplishments of our founding fathers. But, celebrating a White History Month on top of I-Day...mannn...kinda risky. 

August - The most boring month ever. Surely there can't be anything to celebrate in August, right? 

August is known as "Bizarre Holiday Month." What kind of holidays are celebrated? 

  • Admit You're Happy Month
  • Family Fun Month
  • National Catfish Month
  • National Eye Exam Month
  • National Golf Month
  • Peach Month
  • Romance Awareness Month
  • Water Quality Month
  • National Picnic Month
Meh. Weirdosssss


September?Hispanic Heritage Month starting Sept 15th. Sorry Arizona legislation. It's recognized by Congress too. 

October? - Bad month bro. Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Filpino American Heritage Month. Also, in England, they celebrate Black History Month in October. We COULD stick it to cancer awareness, Manny Paciquao, and the Brits on this one, but let's leave it alone for now. 

November? - The month of Veterans Day and Thanksgiving, which basically celebrates genocide of a nation. Speaking of nations,  Native American Heritage Month is in November as well. Not happening. 

December - The month of holidays galore. It would be hard to sell to your kid, "hey, I know its almost Christmas/Hanukkah, but remember, it's WHITE History Month. See the snow? Yes?" 

Nah.

So there you have it. Next time someone asks you why there isn't a White History Month, simply refer them to this blog, and it will make sense. It's not that we don't want to celebrate whites' achievements, as inflammatory as the consequences may be. There's nothing terribly wrong about having pride in your heritage. It's nearly impossible to moralize any race's heritage without pointing out some shameful moments. 

But overall, there's no room on the calendar. But there is one more alternative to this. 


We can simply blame Wale and move on. Not too much context needed, but if there's anyone to blame, it's him. 



Dictated not read.

Lee 

Follow me on twitter @leetreble_

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Curse Of Ciara: 5 Guys' Careers Nearly Ruined by Ciara.

It's been a minute. Been busy. Welcome back to the Terrordome. 

Ciara




If you ask the average person about Ciara, 9 times out of 10, you're going to get "whisperer-singer" "Goodies girl" "great dancer" "possible porn actress" or "Janet Jackson lite." An over-achiever to some, and an under-achiever to many. Probably should pursue a career in porn. 

Ciara has some hits, some misses, and a video that you should never view if you plan to have a daughter. 


Such a bad omen to come of this....

If you follow me on Twitter (@leetreble_, don't do it), you know how I promote Erykah Badu theory. Baduizm has left some of hip-hop's greatest talents (Andre 3K, Common, Jay Electronica) in an idiosyncratic state of funk. Sometimes its for the better (3K dropped the Love Below after dating Badu) and other times you get this....


If you click on this picture five times, you see Joe Budden with a hookah strapped to his neck


Regardless of how you feel about her feet musical talent, Ciara is fine as hell.  There's a reason why she's dated so many high-profile guys (while oddly dodging the hoe accusations that Kim Kardashian unfairly owns)


But this isn't about Ciara or her broad shoulders. This is about the men she's dated, and how she's left EVERY single one of these guys irrelevant, ineffective, and almost useless. Here goes. 

Five Guys Nearly Ruined By Ciara's box. 

Bow Wow


Clearly an auto-biographical film

Wow Bow. The man who used to run 106 and Park is now working as a host of 106 and Park. Bow Wow went from child megastar to moderately successful teenager rapper, and for a moment, looked poised to rise to greatness. Then he starting dating Ciara, who is a foot taller than him. Probably. 


Oddly, the long cross chains aren't the most disturbing thing about this picture. 

In 2005. Broke up at the end of 2006. What's happened since then? 

Dropped from TWO labels. Sued for unpaid child support. Unwanted by anyone in the industry. A very public Twitter meltdown where he mentioned suicide. Told a judge he's broke in 2011. He's sold 5 million records. But he's only worth 300K...ouch 

Cold world, but it gets colder. 


50 Cent



In 2007, 50 Cent, oddly dating Chelsea Handler, snapped back into reality, and broke up with her for Ciara. They dated for 3 years, and broke up quietly in 2010. 

50 Cent is one of most successful rap artists of all-time, cashing in his rap stature for more money via other ventures. But 50 Cent isn't on here because of money.

He's here because he's COMPLETELY irrelevant. In fact, NEW YORK HIP-HOP is irrelevant. And hecan't rap good anymore :-(

Can you name a 50 Cent single since 2010? Nope.

 Has 50 Cent dropped an album since 2010? YES. Two. Ok? Name them.......

........

.......exactly. 

Not only that, he's no longer BFFs with Floyd Mayweather?


Justin Beiber a funny motherfucka ain't he? 




 CURSED HUSSY CIARA.
 I TELL YOU. CURSED. 

Ludacris



I'll keep this short and sweet. 

Ludacris. Dated Ciara in 2008. Dropped this ABOMINATION OF A SONG IN 2010.




No words. No words....

Fuck that song b


Amare Stoudamire




This is an interesting one. Amare, coming off his best season as Phoenix Sun, signs a 100 million dollar contract with the New York Knicks in 2010. Guess who he starts dating in 2010?

CURSE

So, after an early MVP campaign in the first half of the 2010 season, injuries and Carmelo Anthony's arrival literally rendered Amare's game useless. Once a top 10 NBA talent in his prime, injury-proned Amare is being paid 20 million dollars to come off the bench. Peep this

Amare stats before Ciara: 21.45 PPG, 9.0 REBS per game. Limited defense capabilities.
Amare stats after Ciara: 18 PPG, 7 REBS. NO DEFENSE CAPABILITIES. 

Amare probably saw this, and got back with his now-wife, who he literally married 6 months later.  

(Funny story, I went to college with Amare's now-wife's sister. They were "engaged" for like 8 years before Ciara lmao. Engagement = Layaway)


Lauryn Hi..




NOPE. NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.


Future



This one is still in the works, but after being dropped from Drake's tour (he's back reportedly), we might want to warn Walmart T-Pain that Ciara is cursed. We would hate for Future to go from being the hook-man of 2013 to complete irrelevancy. Adding to the fact he's got 3 kids, and a 4th one on the way, we hope Future is able to dodge this curse. For America's sake. 

DON'T DO IT. RECONSIDER. READ SOME LITERATURE



There you have it. 5 men cursed by Ciara. 

Dictated not read. 

Lee


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Four People Who Lost Their Superpowers After Cutting Their Braids

Hi

Braids. Cornrows. Dreads. The holy trinity of niggas hairstyles. We can see these being rocked in hoods, schools, and in corporate settings. Hell, even the QB of the Washington Redskins rocks his lesbian-esque braids with style. 

Only black man in America with half-dreads and half mullet

After reading this blog, RG3 may want to consider never cutting his hair. EVER. 

The biggest side-effect of cutting your hair is the Samson effect. As you know, in the Bible, Samson was blessed with Lee-esque strength until he met a hussy named Delilquanisha. She cut her hair, he lost his strength. And mostly importantly: he lost his edges....

No, no, not my edges!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*cries silent tear*

There are a few people who can cut their braids and maintain their successes at a high rate (Carmelo Anthony, Justin Timberlake),  but for the four people below, cutting their braids was a career-altering move. And not for the better. So here goes...

Four People Who Lost Their Superpowers After Cutting Their Braids
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alicia Keys

Bio:- All hail the Queen of Sidechick Music. Alicia Augello Cook. A bi-racial angel with a knack for playing piano and singing. One of the best songwriters of her generations. She has a son named Egypt and married a Sphinx. 

Then in 2009, she married Swizz Beatz stopped rocking the microbraids permanently. 

Oh hey. Swiss Beatz picked out the rest of my career for me

You want to see how braids affected her career? 

Alicia Keys Grammys with braids: 12
Alicia Keys' # of Grammys without braids: ZERO

Number of vocal notes Alicia Keys missed with braids: 1
Number of vocal notes Alicia Keys missed without braids: All the numbers in Pi

Number of people set on fire by Alicia Keys with braids: 0 (that we know of)
Number of people set on fire by Alicia Keys without braids: Still under investigation, but we think the casualties are in the thousands. 

Now we're left with this 

Oddly, I think Carrey rocked it better
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allen Iverson

Bio - 2001 MVP. The anti-Jordan. The Answer. Allen Iverson had it all. The most identifiable part about Allen Iverson his is trademark braids. We loved him for being himself at all times, and celebrated his willingness to be the anti-hero. 

Then in 2009, he cut his braids....

The casino ain't ready for THIISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

You want to see how braids affect your performance?

Allen Iverson's PPG with braids: 26.8
Allen Iverson's PPG after cutting them: 15.7

Teams Iverson played for before cutting braids: 2 
Teams Iverson played for after cutting braids: 5

Allen Iverson complaining about practice before cutting braids: 1 
Allen Iverson complaining about practice after cutting braids: 0 

You can blame old age, personal issues, or his unwillingness to come off the bench, but let's face it: you cut your braids, your career goes away...

Let's pray he rocks these braids at the Hall of Fame speech. Top 5

Starting a petition to put this on the 30 dollar bill 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ludacris

Bio - Scarface's first hand-picked rapper for Def Jam South. Atlanta's most commercially successful rapper behind the group Outkast. Comedic and wily rapper. His catalogue is among the best in hip-hop history. Possibly top-5 guest feature rapper of all-time. 

And I will never forgive him...but that's another story for another day. 

Then, in 2006, he cuts his trademark cornrows. 

You won't forgive me nigga? Nigga. Who are YOU? 

You want to see how braids affected his career? 

Number of Ludacris' albums sold with braids: 13.6 million 
Number of Ludacris' albums sold without braids: 3 million

Number of good rappers who Ludacris didn't let get shine with braids: 0
Number of good rappers who Ludacris didn't let get shine without braids: 1. 222222222 CHAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNZZZZZZZ

Number of THE WORST VERSE EVER IN HIP-HOP HISTORY EVER EVER EVER with braids: 0
Number of THE WORST VERSE EVER IN HIP-HOP HISTORY EVER EVER EVER with braids: ONE FUCKING SONG

You can blame his sales numbers on the industry trend, but still, I will never forgive him. 

Especially after this abomination of a song

Nicki's reaction after hearing the verse for the first time. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lauryn Hill
 
Bio - you know, fuck this. I've already said what I've had to say about Lauryn Hill. BYE FELICIA 

Honorable mention: R. Kelly, Warren Sapp, Busta Rhymes, Xzibit (where is he?), India.Aire, Jamie Kennedy, Omarion, Micheal Vick (he did get another 100 mil contract, so he barely misses the list), D'Angelo (the fuck kind of hairstyle he's rocking), Trey Songz, Chris Kilpatrick, Jermaine Dupri (nigga went from having dreads, to going bald. Amazing), Bow Wow. 

I'm done. 

Dictated, not read

Lee