Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Why There Is Not A White History Month?

Let's be real. The notion of why we do not have a white history month is incredibly silly and atrocious from a moral standpoint. Often times when asked why we don't have White History Month, it normally comes from a place of ignorance. The most common way I've seen minorities dispel this notion is to argue is that white people have the other 11 months of the year (and own the universe)

But I had to ask myself....

Do they really have the other 11 months to celebrate their heritage? 

The straw-man argument is that white people "own everything" and "built the country on the minorities back" and "Robin Thicke is the greatest soul singer of all-time". But those arguments are lazy and require a lot of historical context I do not care to get involved in right now. 

But really, why isn't there a White History Month? TELL ME IYLANA. 

It's all quite simple. There simply not enough room on the calendar to celebrate it.  



Shut up Lee. Stop trolling. You are an idiot are probably what you are thinking right now. It's OK. 

But seriously, let's take a look at the months and see where we can fit White History Month... 

January? - nope, can't have it there. MLK Day, New Years Eve. Would be disingenuous to do so. 

February? - ummmmm -___-

March? - Nope. March is Women's History Month. And they weren't even acknowledge as citizens until the 1920s in this great country. The Irish do have St. Patrick's Day, but Irish were counted as blacks until the early 1900s. True story. Can't do it. 

April? - Nope. National Autism Month. And you gotta be a real tool to trump that by having your own month. BUTTTTT, its also Confederate History Month!!! DING DING DING. RITE POW. 

Well, the heritage of the Confederate only speaks to a particular region in the states, and simply doesn't represent the entire view of diaspora white America. They aren't doing Civil War re-enactments in New York and Oregon. It was worth a shot April.  

May? - Mother's Day and Memorial Day. Busy month as is. Too risky to celebrate any race on this month. Or to take any attention away from Mothers. 

June? - Maybe 10-15 years ago. But June is National LGBT Month. Can't do it anymore. 

July? - Technically, you can. July 4th is Independence Day and celebrates all of the accomplishments of our founding fathers. But, celebrating a White History Month on top of I-Day...mannn...kinda risky. 

August - The most boring month ever. Surely there can't be anything to celebrate in August, right? 

August is known as "Bizarre Holiday Month." What kind of holidays are celebrated? 

  • Admit You're Happy Month
  • Family Fun Month
  • National Catfish Month
  • National Eye Exam Month
  • National Golf Month
  • Peach Month
  • Romance Awareness Month
  • Water Quality Month
  • National Picnic Month
Meh. Weirdosssss

September?Hispanic Heritage Month starting Sept 15th. Sorry Arizona legislation. It's recognized by Congress too. 

October? - Bad month bro. Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Filpino American Heritage Month. Also, in England, they celebrate Black History Month in October. We COULD stick it to cancer awareness, Manny Paciquao, and the Brits on this one, but let's leave it alone for now. 

November? - The month of Veterans Day and Thanksgiving, which basically celebrates genocide of a nation. Speaking of nations,  Native American Heritage Month is in November as well. Not happening. 

December - The month of holidays galore. It would be hard to sell to your kid, "hey, I know its almost Christmas/Hanukkah, but remember, it's WHITE History Month. See the snow? Yes?" 


So there you have it. Next time someone asks you why there isn't a White History Month, simply refer them to this blog, and it will make sense. It's not that we don't want to celebrate whites' achievements, as inflammatory as the consequences may be. There's nothing terribly wrong about having pride in your heritage. It's nearly impossible to moralize any race's heritage without pointing out some shameful moments. 

But overall, there's no room on the calendar. But there is one more alternative to this. 

We can simply blame Wale and move on. Not too much context needed, but if there's anyone to blame, it's him. 

Dictated not read.


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